Not every networking attempt can bring in leads or closed deals, you need to learn the tricks
If you’ve been in real estate for more than five minutes, you’ve heard the phrase “your network is your net worth.” It sounds good. It looks great on Instagram. And yet, if we’re being honest, most agents don’t actually know how to network in a way that produces real results.
You’ll almost never hear someone say, “I don’t know how to network.” But I’d argue nearly 90% of agents struggle with it.
Why?
Because networking has been reduced to collecting business cards, mass-adding people on LinkedIn, and firing off generic messages that feel more like spam than connections. That’s not networking, that’s noise.
This business is built on trust. And trust is built through real, human relationships. If you want consistent deal flow, longevity, and a strong reputation, your ability to connect with people matters more than any script, CRM, or marketing campaign.
Here’s a practical, human approach to networking that actually works. ( I also did a video on this for my YouTube channel )
Be Interested, Not Interesting
Most people walk into a room wondering how they can impress others. The best networkers walk in genuinely curious.
Almost everyone wants to talk about themselves. If you ask thoughtful questions and actually listen, you immediately stand out. People won’t remember your pitch—but they will remember how you made them feel.
Try replacing small talk with real curiosity:
What are you working on right now?
What’s been challenging in your real estate or business lately?
One of the most powerful questions you can ask, “How can I help you to achieve….,” or: “Who can I introduce you to that may help you”
You don’t need to perform. You just need to actually care.
Listen More Than You Speak
This lesson came early for me. My father, Gerry Killinger, used to say, “Joe, you have one mouth and two ears. Shut up and listen.” Not subtle—but incredibly effective advice.
Active listening is a networking superpower. When people feel heard, trust builds fast. And trust is the foundation of every transaction you’ll ever do.
Listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to talk. It’s paying attention, asking follow-up questions, and learning what actually matters to the person in front of you.
Give Before You Ask
The fastest way to build strong relationships is to lead with value—and do it without expecting anything in return.
That value doesn’t have to be complicated:
Make an introduction to a great attorney, CPA, title officer, or escrow contact.
Share a market insight that directly impacts their property.
Send an article tied to something they mentioned in conversation.
Giving with no strings attached creates long-term goodwill. And the return on that approach is massive—even if it shows up later and in unexpected ways.
Show Up… Then Keep Showing Up
One conversation doesn’t create a relationship.
Many agents assume that once a connection is made, it’s permanent. In reality, if you’re not top of mind when someone needs help, they’ll call whoever is.
Strong relationships are built the same way anything meaningful is built—through consistency and over time.
Build Real Relationships, Not Vanity Connections
You don’t need thousands of contacts.
You need a small group of people who trust you and who you can offer value to, and they can offer value to you.
Twenty to thirty deep relationships will outperform ten thousand surface-level connections every time. Focus on your core group—the people who think of you first when opportunities arise. Be selective in choosing who you connect with, especially on social platforms like LinkedIn. If the person you connect with can’t add value to either you, or your clients, then why connect with them?
Be Memorable (In the Right Way)
Being memorable doesn’t mean being flashy. And it definitely doesn’t mean showing up in a sequin jumpsuit—trust me (that’s a story for another day 😊).
It means being:
Consistently helpful;
Professional;
Responsive;
Easy to work with;
One simple tactic that still works? A handwritten thank-you card after meetings. It’s rare, thoughtful, and surprisingly powerful.
Follow Up on Everything
More deals die from lack of follow-up than bad negotiations.
Whether you use a CRM or a simple spreadsheet, track:
Who you met;
When and where you met;
What they care about;
Follow-up isn’t pushy when it’s relevant. It’s professional.
Stay Top of Mind Without Being Annoying
The goal isn’t constant contact—it’s meaningful contact.
One strategy that works well is proactively offering insight. For example, if a client owns a property, prepare a Broker Opinion of Value and send it with a simple note offering to update rents if they’d like.
Even if they’re not selling, you’ve positioned yourself as a resource—not a salesperson. Over time, that association is powerful.
Be a Connector
Helping people make the right connections with others is one of the most valuable things you can do in this business.
Even when there’s no immediate upside for you, it builds your reputation, and reputation travels.
Remember: the best deals often go to the most connected agent—not necessarily the most qualified. Information and opportunity flow through relationships.
Final Thoughts
Networking isn’t a tactic. It’s a mindset.
Lead with curiosity. Show up consistently. Play the long game.
If you do that, your network won’t just grow—it will start working for you in ways no marketing campaign ever could.
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Show up. Stay consistent. Learn your market. Tell the world you exist.
And always—always—bring value.
